catmask:

honestly if i could absolve everyone of one thing it would be any lingering shame about not knowing how to take care of your body/health because of a home environment that didnt teach you how to or prevented you from doing so. i wince every time i see people snap at strangers online with ‘how DIDNT you know that!?’ to like, basic hygiene or nutritional information. or hell even just for having believed misinformation… i do think its important that, once youre an adult to form a curiosity about these things and i cheer everyone on who’s still learning. i wish the world were gentler to us all, its difficult to know what it is you’re lacking if you were never shown how to or taught the importance of how to care for yourself. i think we can all get there someday

angelicguy:

ubernegro:

Yemen asked the West to stop aiding in the genocide of the Palestinian people and uphold international law. The West said no.

Then Yemen conducted sanctions and blockaded a sea bordering their nation to prevent the illegal sail of those funding and abetting genocide and did so nonviolently while upholding the very international law that West refused to uphold. The West bombed them.

Yeah.

fobnsfwdoodlesbackup:

I wrote a little thing about fall out boy and body image as a trans guy

Keep reading

tundrakatiebean:

chasingtheskyline:

the-eldritch-it-gay:

femmeharlequin:

the-eldritch-it-gay:

femmeharlequin:

the-eldritch-it-gay:

why do i end up sitting straight up in my sleep. ignore how many blankets I use.

Bestie it is impossible to ignore the amount of blankets you use at first I assumed this was a meme and those were the layers of the crust of the earth

I actually have 4 more blankets I sometimes add but I didn’t want to make my blanket number look excessive

Are you okay

The results are inconclusive on that.

Bestie. the reason you end up sitting up is your lungs think you are being crushed.

OP making the bed

a-book-of-creatures:

strawberriandromeda:

a-book-of-creatures:

redheadedhypocrite:

a-book-of-creatures:

hemipelagicdredger:

a-book-of-creatures:

bonnettbee:

a-book-of-creatures:

fatefulfindings:

a-book-of-creatures:

melononthefloor:

a-book-of-creatures:

maxkowski:

a-book-of-creatures:

greek-orthodox-priest:

went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.

these animals… they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.

Better than the 1596 Marseille dolphin exorcism I suppose.

In 1596 dolphins were infesting the port of Marseille. Back in those days, y’see, dolphins didn’t have the cuddly image they enjoy today. They were pests and were causing damage.

So the cardinal of Avignon sent the bishop of Cavaillon to do something about them. In front of a huge crowd, the bishop sprinkled some holy water into the waters of the port and told the dolphins to begone. Whereupon the dolphins indeed turned tail in terror and fled, and were never seen again.

Still not as dramatic as Saint Bernard excommunicating the flies though.

What happened to the flies?

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux built a monastery in 1124, but it was plagued by flies. So the good saint promptly excommunicated them. By the next day the flied had died in such quantities that they had to be shoveled out.

Still not as nutty as the Basel rooster trial though.

*everyone in unison* um what rooster trial?

In 1474, a rooster in Basel did the heinous and unspeakable act of laying an egg. As everyone knows, an egg laid by a rooster will hatch into a basilisk (or cockatrice).

So to avoid the creation of a cockatrice (or basilisk), the rooster was tried, found guilty, and burned at the stake along with its egg. A huge crowd was present.

The “rooster” in this case was likely a hen that had developed male characteristics (it happens).

Still not as properly legal as the Savigny pig trial though.

Ok, clearly you want an excuse to talk about the pig thing, and I now DESPERATELY want to hear about the pig thing, so PLEASE tell us about the Pig Thing.

In 1457 a sow killed Jehan Martin, a five-year-old boy in Savigny. For that crime she was put on trial and judged guilty, and sentenced to be hanged from a tree.

Her piglets, however, were judged to have been innocent of the murder, and so were returned to the owner, with the caveat that he had to surrender them to the law if they were later found to have eaten any of the boy.

Not to be confused with a whole bunch of other, similar porcine trials.

I won’t mention the 1454 excommunication of eels in Lake Geneva then.

OK what did the eels do, and more pressingly why were they in communion with the church in the first place

Animals are expected to be part of the Church by default, that’s why they take excommunication so badly.

Felix Hemmerlin’s treatise on exorcism, cited by e.g. Wagner’s Historia Naturalis Helvetiae (1680), informs us that around 1221-1229, eels once infested Lake Geneva in huge numbers. So Saint William, bishop of Lausanne, excommunicated them and banned them from the lake, forcing them to live in only one part of it.

Plot twist: as far as we know, Saint William was never bishop of Lausanne.

There’s no way you have historical Christianity nonsense more silly than this to share

I’ve been trying to stay on brand and talk about animals only, but sure, few intersections of Christianity and the legal system get sillier than…

… the Cadaver Synod.

Pope Formosus (“Good-looking”) was pope from 891 to 896, and apparently accumulated a few enemies. After his successor Boniface VI enjoyed all of a 15-day papacy, the next pope elected was Stephen VI.

And he hated Formosus.

How much? He had the corpse of Formosus exhumed, dressed up in papal vestments, and put on trial for his failings as a pope.

End result? Formosus was found guilty of papal fail. The corpse was stripped of its clothes, three fingers on its right hand were severed (no blessings for u), and it was tied to weights and dumped in the Tiber.

Needless to say Stephen VI came to a sticky end. An angry mob deposed him, he was strangled in prison, and Formosus’s corpse was fished up and reburied with honors. And the later popes passed edicts ensuring this kind of silliness would not happen again.

Tune in next time when I tell you about how a lawyer defended a city’s entire rat population.

Please, the rats, give us the rats, i beg….

The story of the rats of Autun is also the story of Barthelémy de Chasseneuz (or Chassenée, etc.), a highly original and highly talented defense lawyer. That’s him here.

When the town of Autun was infested by rats in the early 1500s, they were accused of eating the province’s barley crop and were duly summoned to be judged in an ecclesiastical court of law. Chasseneuz was the defense attorney.

How do you defend an entire swarm of rats? You don’t, is the answer. You delay. Chasseneuz’s original defense was “my clients live all over the place, one summons won’t be enough”. So he got a court summons to be posted in all the infested parishes.

When the rats didn’t show up after the elapsed time delay, Chasseneuz proceeded to explain at length why. The rats didn’t come to court, he said, because of their enemies the cats, which are everywhere and always vigilant and hungry. “You cannot expect my clients to undertake a journey which would put them in mortal danger”, he argued in complete seriousness. “Thus they have the legal right to turn down a summons that endangers them”.

As far as we know, the rats never did appear in court, and remained unprosecuted.

Chasseneuz went on to have a distinguished career as a lawyer and was allegedly killed by a poisoned bouquet of flowers.

charlesoberonn:

clumsysprings:

charlesoberonn:

lilyyy63:

charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don’t let the Italians know I said this)

Make sure I fit in the pot at least.

Shorter pasta could definitely fit on a store shelf. Longer pasta however…

Free yourself of corporate interests and demand comically and inconviently long pasta

Pasta so long it can’t fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

I think space filling pasta would be the best of all worlds. Easy to fit on shelves, long, and fits in the pot without breaking!

Good luck manufacturing it, but I think it could be done by extrusion and chopping, but I don’t know if it’d be spaghetti still

Something like this?

vltima:

embershx:

headspace-hotel:

thesaltofcarthage:

thisishowwedonut:

shieldfoss:

catboybrigade:

shieldfoss:

hobbygoblin:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

There’s discovering that you have a kink as in learning something new about yourself, and there’s discovering that you have a kink as in you always knew you were into it, but you didn’t realise it was a kink because you honestly thought everybody was into it, and of the two, the second one is much, much funnier.

It’s like the boner-based equivalent of folks with undiagnosed food allergies going “I just thought bananas were supposed to be spicy”.

Please… you CANNOT HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS

> #you never see foot fetishists talking about how all men naturally crave toes as part of the human condition

Not only have I seen that, I have seen it in a power point at a conference

You’ve seen in a what now

did i stutter

Throwback to that reddit post about the guy who learned exercising doesn’t make everyone incredibly horny and realized he’s come across as an asshole to every partner he’s ever had

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/l80g8l/tifu_by_mistakenly_believing_exercise_turns_you/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

href.li

I genuinely love (in a weird way) how horrified and regretful he is at how awful he accidentally sounded. This is a person who is self-aware, not an asshole, and never wanted to make anyone feel bad. 

I’m dying over here. This poor guy.

I desperately need to know how he found out. Who worked up the nerve to tell him?

cemeterything:

guards! lengthen that man’s hair

hoebutmadefashion:

kimbras:

weedcellar:

Eminem isn’t violent, Slim Shady is. Get it right.

im robbing a bank tomorrow and when the cops come for me imma tell them it was my alter ego countess boochie flagrante

averagefairy:

i switch jobs every 1-2 years because i need to reinvent myself or I’ll die

infectedwithnyanites:

foxgirlmilf:

May the US be annihilated in our times.